If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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