wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
