I skipped work to stalk him.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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