ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
