I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
