im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
