How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
