Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
