I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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