i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
