she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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