So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
