I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
