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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.