I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love you. Go after that dick