instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.