I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing