lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.