I'm so fucking centered right now
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The power of my boobs compel you
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize