Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
