No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
