I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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