Betty ford says i'm here all night
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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