So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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