are you so shy because you have an std?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You made out with two different species that night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
