I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
