doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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