Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I touched a dick in church today
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
