Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize