we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
