I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
