i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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