how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
