I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
