He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
