Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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