I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I will be naked everywhere
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
