I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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