Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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