I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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