An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
