I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
