Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
