At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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