now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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