Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
