More tranny stories later!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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