Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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