I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
