I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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