Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
