WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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