just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
