i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
