FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
