She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she looked like the before picture.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
