Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
