What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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