Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
