ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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