There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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