shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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