We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
