just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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