that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
