You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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