Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had sex on a roof
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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