so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
