Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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